we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
