Is it normal to miss your booty call?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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