So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
