I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
