I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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