I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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