Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
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I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Congratulations! We have a period
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