he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
