just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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