I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
