it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
