It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize