I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
