we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I wish you could order shots online.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize