I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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