please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
