I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
