He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
