im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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