Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?