Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
