You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
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As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place