She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"