all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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