Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
