I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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