Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
