You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
