This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
