I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
