I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
