I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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