Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
