Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
