She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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