Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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