3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
