Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
