mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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