we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
