I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
