It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
