I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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