then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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