I got chris browned last night
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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