How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
