so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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