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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?

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