Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
23 Ladies Who Have Mastered The Art Of Squirting
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head