I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
