Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
