He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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