Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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