I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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