Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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