He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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