OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
