just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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