my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
