I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
