I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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