my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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