the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All the doctor said was why
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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