We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
