you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He better not be in your backpack
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Two words: blizzard sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
