plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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